Thursday, May 24, 2007

Will I be lumpy forever?

Well, I haven't blogged in a while because I'm kind of frustrated with the injections now. The injections aren't as painful as before, but now I have lumps at most of the injection sites. You can actually feel the lumps, they feel like knots with a circumference the same as a ping pong ball. I have these lumps in both thighs, arms, hips, and stomach. The drug company has a support team you can call if you have any questions, concerns, etc. I spoke to them and they said it takes the body 6 to 12 months to get used to the medication and recognize it. They say the best thing to do is apply heat to the area and then massage (no sooner than 24 hours after injecting). I've tried it, but it didn't help much. It's pretty painful to massage the lumps. I just feel bruised and sore in all of the injected areas. I've had some of the lumps for a week! I've also noticed when I inject the arms and legs I have a giant red circle around the area for about 48-72 hours (it usually lasts longer on the legs) and the circle is very warm.

I hope I don't sound too whiny or negative, I'm just expressing my frustrations. It's only been 6 weeks today since I started the injections, so I still need to give it a chance. Other than the lumps, I've been feeling pretty good if I'm in the air conditioning. If I'm in the heat for very long I'm drained and useless. I'm dreading our electricity bills this summer!

Hopefully next time I blog, I'll have good news that the lumps are gone!! In the mean time, I'm just trying to stay cool:)

Today my quote is dedicated to myself:
"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same."

Friday, May 11, 2007


Sorry it's been so long since I last posted, but I'm still trying to get out of vacation mode. Doug and I had a wonderful time in Puerto Vallarta. We were there for 4 nights and 5 days. Our resort was amazing! It was a much needed vacation and it really helped me put the past 6 months behind me. Before we left I would do my injections around 7:30 in the evening and then lay on the couch the rest of the night because they were so painful. Well, while we were in Mexico I didn't want to waste any time laying around. So, I got used to doing my injection quickly and then we were out the door for a night on the town. Since we've been back, the injections have become a lot easier. They're still just as painful, but if I keep my mind busy I don't notice the pain as much. Giving myself the injection has become just another part of my daily routine.

I've been feeling better for the most part, I was actually feeling great until this week. I don't think I'm ready for the summer heat. This was the first week where it was consistently warm everyday (and it hasn't even reached the 90's yet!) and I've noticed a difference in my body. If I'm out and about during the day (in and out of the hot car) I just get really drained and fatigued. Most healthy adults get tired and sluggish in the heat anyway, but times that by probably 5 right now, I have a bad feeling it's going to get worse as the temperatures rise. When we were in Mexico I had to stay in the cool pool. If I got too hot laying out in the sun, my legs and arms felt like jello and I felt like passing out. As soon as I cooled down in the pool, I felt so much better. So, I'll just have to accomodate this summer. I'll have to get my cardio workout by swimming, stay in the shade at cookouts, and I've heard they make cooling wrist bands and neck bands that have ice packs in them. I may be investing in some of them....maybe I'll even start a fashion statement.

I was just telling Doug last night that I think I've finally accepted my diagnosis and moved on. For the first month I was constantly on the internet researching MS. I can't remember the last time I googled MS. For the past several months the thoughts of my future were constantly in my head.....will I be disabled and end up in a wheelchair? if so, will Doug be happy pushing me around and taking care of me? will I be able to have kids? if so, will they have MS? will I be able to take care of them and run around with them? There were so many questions constantly running through my head. Now, I'm just living in the present and trying to enjoy everyday. I'm just thankful for waking up each day and getting another day to live. I'm really trying to live life to the fullest now and not get so stressed about small things. MS has changed my outlook on a very positive way. I feel stronger and more confidant, like I could conquer anything! I know some people get sick of hearing, "everything happens for a reason," but it really does.

I'll leave you with this:
"One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."